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jimmy
11-06-2005, 09:01 PM
NEW LIVERPOOL PLAYER



The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking
for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the
title.

One of the scouts informs him of a young Iraqi striker who he thinks
will turn out to be a true superstar.

The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch him and is suitably
impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield.

Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 mins
left the manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 mins and wins the game for
Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are
delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her
about his first day in English football. Hello mum, guess what?" he say's.
"I played for 20 mins today. We were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won.
Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your
father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and
your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great
time."

The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the
first place :razz: :razz:

Gary
11-07-2005, 10:05 AM
i heard this one a while ago, with manchester used enstead of liverpool.

kenny
11-07-2005, 10:45 AM
hi jimmy

i also think i have heard this joke somewhere before mate

ken;-)

Gary
11-07-2005, 12:29 PM
or was it leeds ????:-|

jimmy
11-07-2005, 12:57 PM
Sorry Guys

laurab
11-07-2005, 03:09 PM
Jimmy, you'll have to do better mate ;-)

kenny
11-07-2005, 03:51 PM
hi jimmy

try this one

a man takes his rottweiller to the vets
my dogs cross eyed is there anything you can do for him
well says the vet lets have a look at him
so he picks the dog up and looks at its teeth and then examines its eyes
then he says to the man,i am going to have to put this dog down
the guy says why,whats wrong with him
the vet says hes really heavy you know

ken

kenny
11-07-2005, 03:54 PM
i went to the butchers the other day

and bet him fifty quid,that he couldn`t reach the meat off the top shelf

he said no the steaks are to high

kenny
11-07-2005, 04:00 PM
here`s another

in russia a worker goes to buy a new car
the salesman tells him he can pick it up in 10 years
the worker says what time after 10 years can i pick it up
the salesman surprised said to the man in 10 years what does it matter
the man says i have to know i have a plumber coming over that morning

ken

jimmy
11-07-2005, 04:10 PM
:razz: :razz: :razz: